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After suffering a server case of FOMO this morning, google led me to @imgur which had Zola’s trapping tale in its entirety – thank you Imgur.

Then I abruptly realized this story needs to be made into a film!

Yes, this could easily become a simple VH1 or Lifetime movie of the week. However, with the proper casting, it could be a theatrical release because the people in Zola’s story are truly compelling.

Zola, is a black stripper who draws the line at prostitution, but never fails to take advantage of lucrative opportunities. Jessica, is a white stripper/sex worker who’s completely lost in the life style as she drags along her reluctant boyfriend, Jarrett. Jarrett appears to be suffering from mental illness, but is doing his best to steer Jessica on to a better path. Last, but not least, there is the shifty pimp, Z, who’s wanted in several states for various heinous crimes.

It could be a gritty (super) dark comedy. With the proper scribe to write the script and a director with vision, this story has what it takes go the distance in the box office. Especially, since it already has a built in audience which studios love. With proper casting, dare I say… award season?

Alright, gonna have to do this quick and dirty without putting too much thought into this unfathomable tale while it’s still viral.

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So….

KeKe Palmer as Zola

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She’s cute, on her grown woman these days, and would put that Chicago swag to use… even though Zola is from Detroit. Keke can act. Keke can dance. Although, stripping hasn’t been Keke’s choice in dance styles, I know Keke can do stripper routine choreography. Besides if soccer moms take stripper aerobics, then it can’t be that hard to get the basics down. Plus, Keke has solid comedic timing, which Zola clearly has as she’s managed to damn near make everyone bust stitches as they read her story via +75 tweets.

Margot Robbie as Jessica

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First off, let me just say this, if Brittany Murphy was a live and the appropriate age there would be no other choice. RIP Brittany. But, luckily, there are so many choices out there for Jess (it’s absolutely insane). My head was literally spinning as various white girl faces flashed in my mind! Who could pull off the role of a trap hoe lost in the game? Black Lively? No one can take away her stellar performance in The Town. Jennifer Lawrence? No-no, she has no time between pumping her feminist equal pay fist in the air, and working with Amy Schumer aka her girl-crush. Amber Heard? She might not want leave the 5th private island Johnny Depp bought for her. Finally, I chose what was always in my heart. Margot. Robbie. ‘Nuff said.

Jake O’Connell as Jarrett

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People… people… O’Connell is a acting beast! He’s got more chops than we know what to do with. He’s a scene stealer, so everyone else better watch out for him, because no one can play a ballistic love sick fella like this guy. Just watch him in any given episode of Skins (yes, I’m referring to it again), and you’ll see exactly what I’m talkin’ ‘bout. Actually, I don’t trust you to Netflix it so here’s some GIF proof:

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…and…

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GIF and point.
Gbenga Akinnagbe as Z

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This man has literally been putting in work for years! So, if he looks familiar that’s because he’s been in a trillion TV shows. To name a few, Barbershop, The Wire, Nurse Jackie, Damages, Graceland, The Good Wife, The Following etc. Plus, he has a few films coming up. Gbenga is not as buff as I imagined Z, but if Matt Damon can transform his body from film to film, then there’s no doubt that Gbenga can do so as well. Besides you can’t get too concerned with body type when you’re working with raw talent like this guy.

Listen, if nothing else, Zola needs to get a book deal quick, fast, and in a hurry!

Oh and let’s throw in a Trina

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and Trick Daddy cameo since they’re in Florida. Like maybe they’re performing at the strip club Jess and Zola 1st stop by?

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What say you?

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