image

Well, it looks like Hollywood is not going to bail on the re-make train. Apparently, their “fix” to the masses complaining about the inundated amout of superhero films, and shitty remakes is to switch gender roles. That’s just fine with me because I’ve got a strong passion for [Fantasy] Casting!  Plus, women should’ve already been incorporated into so many former plot lines, but they weren’t because Hollywood is stupid and the world is sexist.

As long as the story is good, and it doesn’t feel like Hollywood is just throwing shit together then swell. In fact, it’s the titts!

For the monkies who don’t even know about the remake, check this out monkies.

And so…

Sandra Bullock as Danni (Danny) Ocean; formerly played by George Clooney

image

Bullock has already secured the role of Danni (Danny) Ocean, as the recently paroled silver tongue con-woman, who decides to conduct an epic Las Vegas heist with a diverse group of skilled criminal associates. Not gonna bother with much of an opinion here, since Hollywood has already made a wise decision.

Anna Kendrick as Linus Caldwell; formerly played by Matt Damon

image

Gonna leave the name as Linus, just like the idea of a gal being called Linus or Caldwell. Feels right. Kendrick will effortless play a naive and somewhat underachieving pick-pocket with famous parents known for their superb thievery skills. As of late, Kendrick has played quick-witted characters in her films e.g. Pitch Perfect, so it would be nice to see her switch it up.

Kristen Bell as Rusty Ryan; formerly played by Brad Pitt

image

Got to love this girl! Of course Bell will be Bullock’s right-hand woman. Doesn’t she look like a well connected yet reformed heist-woman who gets sucked back into the life? Yeeaaah, she does! Plus, it sure will be cute to watch Bell stuff her face with various edible items in damn near every scene as Pitt’s version did in the previous films. Hollywood better not take this unique character trait out, for some sexist lame excuse e.g. it’s “not lady like”.

Regina King as Basher Tarr; formerly played by Don Cheadle

image

Ah yes, this queen is everything! Who else better than King to fill Cheadle’s shoes? No one. Don’t know if King can pull of a cockney accent, but I’ve got faith it’ll happen. Hopefully, the film will give King plenty of toys to play with as a munitions expert. Hot off her 2015 Emmy win, Hollywood would be insane not to cast her in this film!

Susan Sarandon as Saul Bloom; originally played by Carl Reiner

image

Sarandon has proven that sexy has no age limit, and she’ll be able to put this proof to use as the seasoned con-woman who impersonates several empowered women e.g. a casino owner, a Duke’s wife, or European royalty for access.

Punam Patel as The Amazing Yin; formerly played by Shaobo Qin

image

Please say you’ve watched Kevin From Work this summer? Yes? Yes. So, you already know where this is going! Patel is a hilarious scene steeler! No she probably can’t pull off the role of a contortionist, and that’s fine, no one is dying to see that again anyway. Patel has hilarious videos on the youtube, which is evidence that she should be given creative room to build her own character. I’ve got complete confidence Patel can carve out her own niche in the gang of thieves. Making the name The Amazing Yin a working name for now, if Patel wants change it then she should, and if she doesn’t then she doesn’t. Basically, just give the woman what she wants.

Betty White as Ruby Tishkoff; originally played by Elliott Gould

image

Decided to change the name to Ruby from Reuben, because White would make an adorable Ruby. White would also play a a wealthy and influential casino mogul aka “Mrs. Money Bags” just fine. And you already know it would be funny to see White have witty banter with Bullock over how the epic heist’s funds should be allocated.

Gina Rodriguez as Liv Dale; formerly played by Eddie Jemison

image

You know what this is man! Rodriguez is in and Jemison is out, baby! Liv (Livingston) is a freelance technology specialist who is recruited to Ocean’s team to complete computer hacking tasks. She is a neurotic, anti-social, and is extremely uncomfortable when having to interface with humans and not a computer.

Jada Pinkett Smith as Franki Catton; formerly played by Bernie Mac

image

The late great Mac did a wonderful job in this role, and with Pinkett Smith’s unique choices in roles lately, it seem like she would bring an original take on the role. Franki (Frank) is an old friend of Rusty and Danni’s with a flamboyant  personality, yet she somehow does a good inside woman on their heist.

Ilana Glazer & Abbi Jacobson as Turk & Virginia Malloy; formerly played by Casey Affleck and  Scott Caan

image

Turk will be played by Glazer as the aggressive, and cocky sister of Virginia (Virgil) a mild-mannered, polite, and friendly mormon gal. Since their isn’t too much known about these sisters, picking up where the original film left off might not hut as Mormon racetrack frequenters. From there, taking complete creative license. Or just let this dynamic duo do as they see fit, just as long as they do NOT feel like they’re playing the same Broad City gals.

Advertisements