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Damn it! I was just about to throw myself a parade for being way ahead of the curb about remaking the cult classic, The Craft, but low and behold, Hollywood has a beat me to the punch. Terrible, just terrible. News broke quite some time ago that Hollywood will be remaking The Craft, and people have already begun dispensing their two-cents as to whom should be cast in the remake.

That’s okay because the phone will ring (one day), and Hollywood will pay the big bucks to receive my expertise when it comes to casting remakes, and audience won’t have to deal with the likes of Arthur and Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.

For the fools who don’t know, The Craft was released in 1996. The cult classic was written by Peter Filardi and Andrew Fleming. The film was directed by Andrew Fleming, and stars Robin Tunney, Fairuza Balk, Neve Campbell, Rachel True, Christine Taylor, and Skeet Ulrich. The basic plot of this film is… the new girl in school is taken into a coven of outcast girls, and quickly discovers their coven is actually does dabble in the magical arts. Here’s the trailer if you can’t picture awesomeness…

 

Sarah Bailey originally played by Robin Tunney

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Victoria Justice is perfect to play the wide-eyed new girl who unknowing signs up for the dark arts. The studios will like her because the kiddos know her from Nickelodeons long lived series, Victorious, and MTV’s short lived thriller R. L. Stein based series Eye Candy. Justice is a shoe in for Sarah Bailey.

Rochelle originally played by Rachel True

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If you’re not familiar with this actress then get familiar. Jessica Sula’s most notable role comes from  Skins, not talking about the lame American remake, but the addicting British version. It would be such a treat to see Sula play a character completely opposite of her Skins or Honeytrap character, as a brooding teenager who chooses the darker side of life, instead of an innocent girl who gets sucked into the darker side. It’s some what worth noting that Sula has a Untitled M. Night Shyamalan Project, so it’s clear that she’s willing to take risk with her career. Why not join the cast of a remake that critics and fans could very well end up hating? If nothing else it will help establish her as new comer in Hollywood.

Bonnie originally played by Neve Campbell

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No-no it wasn’t The Game of Thrones that secured my undying love for Sophie Turner. Shamelessly I admit it’s the theatrical mega flop, Barely Lethal. It would be nice to see Turner play more roles from this century, even if it is dealing with the dark arts of teenage girlhood, as she reeks havoc with her coven in attempt to dissemble the social hierarchy at the local school. Turner will fold right into the ensemble nicely while making the role of Bonnie her own.

Nancy Downs originally played by Fairuza Balk

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Not really sure why Dakota Fanning is keeping such a low profile these days, but who cares? She can make a big splash with this re-make as a “goth mean girl”. If you’re thinking, “but she’s blonde?!” No worries because Fanning has rocked dark locks before, and she looked just fine. Pitch black hair juxtaposed her pale skin would look great. Just throw in a pair of piercing blue crazy eyes, and Fanning’s undeniable chops, and BOOM we have our Bonnie!

Laura Lizzie originally played by Christine Taylor

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AnnaSophia Robb  was last seen on a regular basis starring in the CW’s Carrie Diaries, and the cute slash lovable indie flick The Way Way Back. Although, she has quite a few projects in the queue through 2016, Robb has not been over exposed, and would be a fresh face for the audience to love to hate in the role of Laura Lizzie.

Chris Hooker originally played by Skeet Ulrich

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If you’re thinking this hottie looks familiar, that’s because you’ve spotted Keith Powers on the opening season of Fear the Walking Dead! Powers played the hell out of Calvin, the baby-faced yet grimy neighborhood smack dealer, who attempted to hem-up ol’ crack head Nick. Not to mention, Powers has a supporting role in the smash hit Straight Outta Compton and on MTV’s Faking It. Powers is another fresh face audiences aren’t sick of, and would definitely hold his own on the silver screen as Chris Hooker.

Alright, those are the choices. If you don’t like ‘em, clap back.

And if you want a more bleached version, then here’s where you should go.

What say you?

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